This post today is for all of the women who are feeling lonely and isolated. This is a very important topic because, as a woman over 50, you’re likely on a rollercoaster of emotions and thought processes that just don’t serve you. It’s so easy for us to feel like we’re alone and not enough- and when we feel isolated, everything bad seems magnified.
When we see other people’s lives on social media, everything looks shiny and bright and magnificent. We can often feel like we just haven’t done enough and that our lives are nowhere near as good as theirs. Then we start making unrealistic comparisons to the person that we see in these highly edited photos. It just seems on the surface that everybody else’s life is way better than ours! This can cause anxiety, which can make us feel even more isolated.
Many of us are experiencing menopausal symptoms that we just don’t understand. Our bodies, moods and health are all changing. It seems like we’re becoming very different from how we used to be. Add to all of this that our children are leaving home and they don’t need us the same way that they used to.
All of these reasons are why I wanted to share with you all some useful ways to come out of isolation and feel connected again. These suggestions can help you feel useful, valued and excited. But it’s all up to you- you need to do the work! There’s no substitute for just going out there and doing it. You need to work to make this happen- and you can’t make this happen with the belief that you aren’t good enough. Without further ado, here are my three suggestions for how to burst out of isolation and reconnect:
Suggestions to Burst Out of Isolation and Reconnect
- Switch places: Imagine someone that you couldn’t possibly picture feeling isolated. Maybe it’s a celebrity like Oprah, for example. Imagine that you and Oprah switch places. She has to take on your body and your current situation. Do you think that Oprah would allow herself to feel isolated for long? What would she do in your situation? And what would she do differently compared to what you’re doing right now? This is a very helpful trick because it shows you that isolation is all about mindset. Even by reading over this exercise right now, you’ve already accessed what you think their mindset would be. This exercise is also incredibly useful because it helps you to access different parts of your brain, which can help you make different choices. It can truly give you the courage to do something different.
- Just do it:There’s no substitute for going out there and taking action. Here are a few suggestions of things you can go out and do:
- Join a church
- Join a gym
- Join a club- like a gardening club
- Offer assistance to a young mom who lacks support
- Reach out and invite someone to coffee
- Interact on various YouTube channels
- Look after the relationships you already have
When you’re helping someone else and not thinking about yourself and your problems, it’s impossible to feel isolated.
- Find a buddy:I call this an accountability buddy and for me, it’s something that has really helped me in business. It keeps me on track to grow and improve and it holds me to higher standards. You can start your journey to finding a buddy by writing down all of your guidelines for a new relationship. This will be the kind of relationship where you connect with another person and share your successes, your failures and your dreams. You hold each other to a higher standard. Here are some guidelines:
- Reach out to one person
- Hold each othe Reach out to one person
- Hold each r accountable
- Uplift and support each other
- Don’t speak negatively about yourself or anyone else
- Take some time to talk about what went great in your week
- No criticism, judgement or sarcasm
- Each week, set one goal for yourself that’s going to push you outside of your comfort zone
When you commit to picking a buddy, you need to stick to these guidelines or it won’t work.
If you want things to change in your life, you need to start doing things differently so you can get different results. You should be the person that stops the conversation cold when your buddy starts beating up on themselves.
Start by having a once per week conversation with this person by email, video chat or phone call and see how you go! You may want to make your meetings more frequent, but once per week is a great starting point. But how do you find a buddy? Here are a few ways:
No matter which method you choose to use, there is never any harm in asking someone to be your buddy. If they say “no,” you can just move on and ask someone else. You’ve just got to get started! It might feel a bit uncomfortable at first, but anything you can do to push you out of your comfort zone is going to feel that way initially- especially if you’re already feeling isolated. But it’s only by doing these things that you can be lifted out of your isolation. Then, you will be able to enjoy your life so much more.
Isolation is a mindset. It’s something that we tell ourselves is real so many times that eventually, we believe it. But don’t lose hope because there is a way out of it! It’s all about taking baby steps and doing one little thing every day that makes you uncomfortable. It’s also important to realize that, while we may think that everybody else has so many more friends and opportunities, that’s not the case. However, so many of us feel isolated because don’t have that one special person. So why not reach out to someone today to be your buddy? It takes a really long time to build that particular kind of trust, but you’ve got to start somewhere and you may as well start today. If not now, when are you going to start? So many people that are part of the Fabulous 50’s community already care about you.
There’s absolutely nothing stopping you today from making one small change. When you do something small outside of your comfort zone, miracles happen. Just don’t give up if something in your life isn’t going as you had planned, try something new- and if that doesn’t work, then try something else! You are so worth it and you have so much to offer. Don’t hold back all of your gifts by isolating yourself from the whole world.
Welcome to Fabulous 50s! My name is Schellea and I’m so glad you’re here.
Fabulous 50s is a platform designed to help women over 50 fall in love with themselves. As an energetic 50-something-year-old myself, I truly believe that 50+ can be the best time of our lives! Through Fabulous 50s, I share fashion, beauty, wellness and lifestyle tips to help women get inspired and stay motivated.
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